Showing posts with label Adult Musings. Show all posts

Life Musings: Doubt

In my last post I spoke on how I allowed fear to hold me back from reaching my full potential. Well guys, I'm sad to say that fear has an ain't sh*t cousin named doubt (that family ain't right...it ain't right at all). Essentially, all my life I have been told that I was an intelligent young woman and I have what it takes to be successful. When I heard this I would respond with a side eye. 

Who me? 

Nahhh...not me. 
Couldn't be.

Then who?

You see, I always looked at myself as a Jill of all trades but a master of none. Whether it be with design, photography, styling etc. I could never see myself being successful in any of these roles no matter how much people said I was good at it...because doubt. I have mad (crazy) skills but I still feel like I need a traditional education for everything that I do or its not valid and that's ludicrous! It may even possibly be insane. Especially, since no degree can validate me unless I stand firm in myself belief. Better yet nothing can validate me except myself.

Does anyone else struggle with this?


Life Musings: Fear

This Tuesday, I sat down at my desk feeling trapped and a little depressed. This feeling lead me to randomly apply to grad school that same day. One of my greatest fears is not reaching my full potential and forever working a dead end job that sucks my soul of its creativity. Even though I have been feeling completely uncomfortable with my current position in life for a while, I did not act. More so I could not act because I was afraid. I was afraid of failure. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of pretty much any disastrous scenario I could think of (and trust I have a wild imagination lol).

In all honesty, I am still afraid but I cannot keep myself back any longer. If I am the key to my own happiness then I have have to take a step out of my comfort zone and get sh*t done. I have no clue where I will end up in life but I do know that I will continue to better myself each year.



- xo Mel